It's done, MOVE ON FOR GOD'S SAKE.

I don't know how much more obvious I can be about this point, I might as well be blue in the face, or just start making out with their ex. I have: made FaceBook statuses about it, written emails, bitched, moaned and complained-but apparently it was not obvious enough. So, Ladies and gentlemen, please sit back and open wide because this pill you are about to be served will be served hot-blooded, and without a glass of water to chase it.

Relationships are beautiful while they last (well, most are anyway) and even if they end "amicably" (is that even possible?) they end. They are: Done, over, kaput, ancient history, concluded, see you never, good-bye. Hence forth, that person is gone from your life.

As the family/friends/distant relatives of the people who are no longer in the relationship-you cut ties with the ex as well, that's just how it's done for the love of God! I don't care if you are the ex's best friend, business partner, lawyer, OBGYN-you end that relationship with a wave and a fake "see you later". Sure, it sucks, and you might want to cry, but Jesus, don't you care that you are making everything extremely awkward for the person that used to be in the relationship? What is wrong with you? Have you no decency?

If my brother/mother/ex best friend/pediatrician/grocery store cashier was begging my ex to still talk to them- I am pretty damn sure I would disown them, or at least file a complaint against them. Talk about not being loyal. Which is a great segway to my next point: Loyalty, Where does your loyalty lie? Apparently it lies with the ex. Do you honestly think anyone feels like they can trust you? Or even be your true friend? Nope, not me, not ever. And forget about the family member/friend/plumber that you are backstabbing-HA that relationship is so damaged by your selfishness that it can't possibly ever be repaired.

Sure, you might say "But I am an adult, I swear I am! I can talk to whomever I want!" And you are certainly right, you absolutely can talk to anyone you want to, but it comes with a huge cost. Are you willing to pay it? Obviously you are.

So we have talked about how you are making the person in the past relationship feel, but now it's time to focus on how you are making the person in the new relationship feel: Worthless, cheap, valueless, insignificant, and un-wanted. I bet you didn't even THINK about that, now did you? And you probably didn't because if you are the type of selfish person who insists on maintaining a relationship with an ex, you clearly are not thinking about anyone but yourself.

Ok, so we have touched on the ex-relationshipee, and the new relationshipee, now let's talk about the ex you are trying to stay BFFEAEFL (thats best friends for ever and ever for life) with. Have you ever thought about why they haven't really responded to you? or Don't particularly reply to your facebook posts on their status/wall/pictures/updates/messages? Or why your calls to them have gone unanswered or unreturned? It is so simple I am literally laughing in your face: It's because THEY WANT TO MOVE ON TOO! They don't want to be stuck with people from their past, God. I didn't think such an obvious point could be ignored.

I am so so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this: But you are seriously screwing yourself on all accounts; instead of being friends with the ex you have lost your family/friends/new relationship friendship/homeless man behind Winn-Dixie/innocent child playing on the playground; no one wants to be close to a person that is so willing to stab you in the back.  Let people move on in life and move forward.